My First Born - "Boss"

I decided a while ago that I will name my first born, "Boss." Being my kid is gonna be tough so he's going to need whatever advantage I can bestow upon him before birth. Giving him a name like, "Boss," will force everyone in his life to call him that, including teachers, counselors, principals, bosses and parole officers. He will automatically be given a position of authority. And it won't be overkill like the names, "Lord" or "King." Now, those are ridiculous names.

What will I call him? As long as he knows who the true boss is (the one that can whoop his butt at anytime), I might call him, "Boss," too, just for fun. But by the the time he turns ten, I will most likely perform an assessment of his attitude and demeanor to see if he will live up to his name. If it's pretty obvious that he won't, I will have to change his name to a similarly structured word. One that also starts with the letter, "B," has a vowel as the second letter and ends in a double consonant: "Butt"

I know what you're all thinking. What if my first born is a girl? Well, I thought about that one, too. I know I can't name her the female "B" word, even though I know she will take after her mother. For now, I will just settle with the female version of boss: "Hillary"