About Me

My Mother passed away when she was 52 before the turn of the century. It was only a month after I had left for Seattle. There will be no pain in my life greater than that. To her, I owe everything, including my demented humor.

I am a Momma's Boy.

I wrote a famous comedic character based upon my Mother. It made me a ton of money. I flushed most of it down the toilet.

I still call the Mother of every girlfriend that I have had since my Mother passed away, "Mom."

On my family's boat escape from Vietnam in 1975, I was only a year old and very sick from drinking boiled sea water. My Father had accepted the fact that I was going to die and prepared to put me in a crate to let my body drift out to sea. We were luckily rescued and brought to a camp in Guam. The only thing that resuscitated me was coffee.

I do not drink coffee. Anymore.

I have 2 older brothers who were born in Vietnam and 2 younger brothers who were born in the US. The 2 older brothers have American names. The 2 younger brothers have Vietnamese names.

I am the white sheep in a family full of black sheeps.

I wrote a movie called, "Spirits - A Vietnamese Ghost Story." I did not get a penny from it. My brother found a bootleg copy of it in Thailand. In Spanish.

I shave my head because I believe in shampoo and hairspray conservation.

I like pretending being an ethnicity I'm not.

I like to taunt and give my friends' wives a hard time. It is most likely because I am jealous of their happiness.

I like being a nice guy. Though, it has not been very rewarding.

I am the nicest mean-looking guy you will ever meet. Or do I mean, meanest-looking nice guy? I don't know.

I believe in loving unconditionally. Many do not know what this means. I am starting to lose faith.

I like the smell and warmth of laundry fresh from the dryer that had at least 3 Bounce sheets.

I like to not smile on purpose just to see if it scares people. And then I smile. They are then relieved, most likely because they realize that I am not going to mug them.

I like it when old friends remember funny stuff that I used to say like, "Ain't no thang but a chicken wang" and "Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a room, a rubber room with rubber rats. Rats? They drive me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once..."

I organize all of my shirts by type first and then by color.

I like being clean and organized. I do not like cleaning and organizing. There is a difference, people. If and when I can hire someone else to do it for me, I will.

When I get out of bed, it always has to be on the right side. Otherwise, if i don't get off the right side of bed, I'm getting off the wrong side of bed. And that's no way to start a day.

Sometimes my nightmares are so vivid that I wake up screaming like a little girl.

I enjoy being extremely concise with my written word. I have issues orally because of the voices in my head and alcohol.

I love to eat fruits, especially after every meal. I prefer fruits over dessert. I can eat any fruit except for Durian.

The image I portray online is done on purpose as a defense mechanism to keep people at a distance. Those that get to know me are very aware that I am a very personable and sincere person.

I just renewed a contract with myself to give myself 3 more years to make it before surrendering to a "normal" life.