There has been a ghost that has been following me. I'm sure of it. But this ghost is quite peculiar. I feel his or her presence all the time. The funny thing about this ghost is that it is randomly farting around me. I know it sounds like I am farting and then blaming it on the ghost but that's not the situation that has inspired me to write this.

I drive a lot, back and forth between LA, Little Saigon and Laguna Hills. On these road trips, I am alone most of the time. There have been several instances that while I am driving, an obvious fart-like smell fills my truck. Now, I know beyond any doubt that it's not me. If I'm alone, why would I blame it on the ghost? There would be no point. I would proudly claim them and just crack open the windows.

I have also taken the precaution to note the time and place that this happens to make certain that it is not an odor coming from the outside. The location where I am passing on the freeway is almost always different and it is never at the same time. I have also checked Google Maps and have verified that none of the locations where it happens are around sewage plants or manure facilities.

It's not too bad of a smell so I will endure it. I might name my ghost one day and start talking to him or her. But that brings up another issue. I don't know how to determine if the ghost is a male or female. And yet, if it is a female, that produces another irksome issue: is the odor coming from a fart or a queef?